Last Exit Page 13

  Tubby let out a whinny of laughter. He lowered me onto something soft. I moaned with relief.

  “Please make her better.” He curled his fingers around mine. I couldn’t squeeze back, but I wanted to tell him how much I’d liked knowing him.

  A blast of cold touched my skin. Priscilla had come back.

  “You’re not going to die.” She didn’t sound so sure. In fact, she sounded pretty scared.

  I opened my eyes, wanting to see what fear looked like on her, but they didn’t work. I saw nothing but bright light with two figures silhouetted over me. A third figure joined them, this one not quite solid. Priscilla.

  “Tell the healer I am here and will lend power through you.” Her voice shook in my head.

  I tried to repeat her words but only got out two. “She’s here.”

  “What is it?” Wade leaned so close I smelled soap and shaving cream. Did he shave now? I tried to touch his face, but Tubby had hold of my hand.

  “Priscilla. Here. Power.” I listened to myself not make sense but couldn’t help it. It was too late.

  “It is not too late,” Priscilla yelled. The lights blinked on and off.

  “You see that?” Tubby’s voice went from sad to scared in an instant.

  “No, what?” Wade rose from me. He drew in a sharp breath. “Okay. It’s Peri Jean’s spirit guide. She just wants to help.” He knelt beside the couch and put both hands on my stomach. He let out a moan.

  “Don’t stop,” Tubby yelled.

  “I’m not, you jumping jackass.” Wade took a deep breath, then another. The room quieted except for the hum of electricity.

  Pinpricks of magic rushed over my abdomen where his hands rested and approached the burning wall of pain inside me. The magic probed at the pain. I screamed.

  Wade began to speak. “Father over the heavens and the underground, the sea and the land, the night and the day, let me heal this woman, Peri Jean Mace.”

  My black opal heated first, radiating power throughout my body. The heat spread to my internal injuries. The warmth became fire, and the fire became agony. I clenched my teeth against it. The whine of a wounded animal escaped from between them.

  Priscilla Herrera’s cold hand covered my forehead. The energy she possessed as a spirit raced through me. My back arched. Wade cried out but only tightened his grip on me.

  He began to chant in a cadence as old as mankind. “When thou wast in need, I found thee. I knew thee by thy real name, Peri Jean Mace. I laid the hands of heaven above upon thee.”

  More power flooded into me, the sweet pressure filling me. I cracked my eyes open to see Wade wreathed in a bright nimbus, sweat dripping from his flushed face, his eyes squeezed shut.

  He said, “By faith, I healed thy wounds. The old gods have blessed me and will bless thee. My blessing is yours. Heal her wounds.” He paused, gasping. “Say it with me, Tubman.”

  Tubby’s nasally twang joined Wade’s deep rumble. They spoke the words again and again. Fire filled my body, especially the spot below my navel where Oscar’s sword had stabbed into me. The pain spread through every inch of muscle and skin. My back bowed, body tight and quivering.

  Wade began to speak his incantation again, his voice more forceful than ever. His sweat dripped onto me, cool against my feverish skin.

  “It’s closing. The wound’s closing.” Tubby’s excitement made him sound like a little boy.

  I cracked open my eyes and watched him, damp hair plastered to his face, sweat rings under his arms. He reached out and cupped my cheek with one hand.

  “You gonna live, baby.” A tear slipped out of the corner of one eye.

  “One last time,” Wade panted. “We need to make sure the internal wounds are closed.”

  I searched for my magic again. This time I found the mantle pulsing behind the living gauze of the scar tissue spell. I pulled on it and lent it to Wade’s power. He grunted when this new surge of energy hit him, but kept right on chanting. The heat built in my body as more healing took place.

  Wade’s words cut off. He fell away from me. His running footsteps shook the house. The noise of him being sick came from nearby.

  “Gross,” Tubby whispered.

  “He has to get rid of it somehow,” I mumbled.

  “You talked. You talked.” He gave me a sweaty hug.

  To my surprise, I was able to lift my arms and put them around him. He was right. Wade had saved me.

  A short distance away, a toilet flushed. Water splashed in a sink. Wade’s footsteps shook the house again. Cabinets slammed. More water ran. Wade stood over us holding a glass of water.

  “Let me kneel down beside her.” He kicked at Tubby. The smaller man gave him a glare but did what he said. Wade knelt beside him. “Now get her head up.” Wade pressed a glass of water to my lips. “Drink it. Now.”

  I took a few sips but sputtered them out.

  “Try again.” He held the glass to my lips.

  That time, I took a few sips. Wade put the glass of water on a whitewashed coffee table. Someone had gone to a lot of trouble to paint a fern design on it.

  Wade used his shirt to wipe sweat off his face. He slapped Tubby on the back, smiling. “We did it, you nasty little turd. We saved her.”

  Tubby sat on the floor, which I now saw was plain wood plank, and leaned back on his hands. “You’re just as nasty as me.”

  I tried to get up.

  “No, no, no.” Wade got back to his knees. “Just settle down.”

  “I’m getting blood on the couch.” My voice came in a weak gasp, but it was better than before. I pushed Wade’s hand off my chest.

  “All right. All right.” Wade stood and took my arm. “What do you want to do?”

  “I want to be clean.” My legs folded like overcooked spaghetti. If it hadn’t been for Wade holding me up, I’d have hit his pretty coffee table.

  He sighed. “All right. Tubman, you passed my sister’s house on the way in.”

  “I didn’t see it,” Tubby said.

  “Well, you drove right past it.” Voice tight with impatience, Wade sounded like he was getting ready to start shouting. “Unlock the front door with the key from underneath the flowerpot. My niece’s bedroom is the first one to the left off the living room. Find sweatpants or tights and a clean shirt. Bring them back here.”

  Tubby turned to go.

  Wade grabbed his arm. “Do not get into anything. Do not take anything. You hear me?”

  Tubby tried to pull away. “What kinda man you think I am?”

  “You really want me to answer?” Wade let go of Tubby with a shove.

  Tubby stumped off muttering under his breath. I caught the words "Godzilla" and "cocksucker."

  “Come back here and say that,” Wade called, my arm still gripped in one huge hand.

  Tubby slammed the door. His footsteps rang on steps, and then he was gone.

  Wade and I were all alone.

  Wade twisted me where he could look me in the face, and I got my first look at him.

  The scar on his head from where he’d been shot several months ago was now white and looked very old, like it had happened when he was a child. His beard covered only his upper lip and chin and had been trimmed close to the skin. The skin on his cheeks was smooth shaven. That’s where the smell of shaving cream had come from.

  He licked full lips that I’d never noticed back when he had his Rasputin motorcycle man beard. “You want to clean yourself off, right?”

  Almost frozen with shock at the transformation of Wade from wild man to regular guy, I managed to nod. He hauled me past a bed and into a tiny bathroom with only a shower, toilet, and sink.

  “Hopefully it doesn’t smell like vomit in here.” He flipped on the lights, looked at me, and winced. “You’ll need to take off your clothes. Do you want to wait until Tubman gets back?”

  I shook my head and began to pull off my shirt. Wade pushed me to sit on the toilet and took off my shoes. I still had on Cecil’s flannel shirt with the
black T-shirt underneath. Wade pulled them over my head. Then I sat there wearing nothing but a bra and blue jeans, chest smeared pink with blood.

  I raised both arms. “Hold me up, and I’ll pull down my jeans.”

  He did as I asked, his face an inch from mine, one black eye boring into mine. I got my jeans unbuttoned and unzipped, and Wade sat me back on the toilet and pulled them the rest of the way off.

  We both looked at my wound. It was so small, it could have been a cat scratch.

  “Thank you for saving me.” My voice came out weak and too soft.

  Wade flushed. “I got a washer and dryer in here. Let me put these in to wash.”

  He turned away, clothes bundled into his arms, and hurried out of the bathroom.

  I leaned back against the cool porcelain of the toilet, wishing I’d told him to take my underwear but not wanting to be that naked in front of him. The thing Wade and I had always had, that odd connection, had come roaring back. I didn’t want those feelings to bloom into something we had to acknowledge. Wade was the wrong man. I knew that now.

  Tanner Letts had stolen my heart. Despite the disconnected phone, some part of me still hoped for another chance with him. If what I saw of him on the plane with Dave and Neecie was real, he’d been thinking of me. Then there’d been that other vision, the one of me in the sunny room with its soft buttery walls, pregnant and assembling a crib. I wanted that with Tanner.

  Before he’d left, I’d known I was in love with him. I didn’t want to let that go without fighting for it. The connection I felt with Wade was real, but the one I had with Tanner was more solid. Maybe because we’d actually acted on the attraction and worked to build a relationship.

  Wade came back with a big plastic bowl. “Your bra and panties are disgusting. They’re going to stink in the morning.”

  Our eyes locked. Before I knew what I was doing, I disrobed the rest of the way. Wade turned away and kept his eyes averted. He took the bra and panties from me and put them in the bowl. He filled it with water and left the room again.

  His heavy footsteps approached, and I covered my breasts with one arm, skin crawling in something almost like embarrassment. But not quite.

  He ran the water in the sink until it was warm, soaped up a washcloth, and began washing me, face set and businesslike. The front door opened.

  “Bathroom, Tubman,” Wade yelled.

  Tubby’s quick steps approached, and he gasped upon seeing me naked. I turned my face away but felt his eyes crawling over me. Wade washed the rest of me with brisk, almost rough movements, rinsed the cloth, and wiped me down.

  It was almost funny. Less than a year ago, I’d wanted Wade with all my heart and soul. Now Tanner dominated my thoughts. He’d be upset to know Wade not only saw me naked but touched my skin. Wade pressed a soft towel to my fingers.

  “Dry off.” He stepped away from me, threw Tubby a glance, and rolled his eyes. I followed his gaze.

  Tubby stood frozen in the doorway, a ball of clothes clutched to his chest, looking at me.

  Wade snatched the clothes from him. “Pull her up off the toilet so we can get these clothes on her.”

  Tubby approached and did what Wade asked. Unlike Wade, his eyes roamed my body, lingering on some of the tattoos. He saw me watching and reddened but didn’t glance away.

  “Sorry,” he muttered.

  I’d have expected no less from Tubby, but I didn’t bother to tell him that.

  Wade wrangled me into a too-big T-shirt and yoga pants and scooped me into his arms. He took me to the bed and nodded to Tubby. He pulled down a pretty quilt made of floral patterned fabric. It didn’t seem Wade’s taste at all. Wade laid me on clean white sheets.

  “She’s got to rest, at least tonight. Call whoever you need to, tell them she’s gonna live.” Wade dug in an armoire that looked to have once been a TV cabinet. He got out a light blanket and spread it over the couch. “I’m so tired I’m almost sick. I get the couch. You can either have the floor or go sleep on my sister’s couch. I’ll send her a text message that you might be there.”

  Wade tapped on his phone and then pulled his boots off. I watched in a fog, noting vaguely that he’d lost the engineer boots and now wore the kind of boots a factory worker might.

  He caught me watching and smiled. “Steel toed, darlin’. Don’t mess with me.”

  I laughed as much as my beat-up body would let me. Laughing with me, he padded over to a light switch and flicked it off. He turned on the light over the stove and came back to the couch in its dim glow. Wade took off his shirt, revealing familiar tattoos and chest heavier with muscle than when we’d been roommates. He lay down on the couch. It groaned in protest of his bulk.

  “Just rest,” he said.

  I drifted then, in a fog halfway between sleep and waking. My dreams were fragmented and frightening. Tanner walked through them. I followed, making promises, and begging him to come back.

  Shelly and I talked about the future of Sanctuary next to a grave. I realized with a shock the tombstone had Cecil’s name on it.

  Finn stood at the front of a church, wearing a cheap suit, waving a Bible, and screaming. Zora sat behind him on a bench swinging her legs and smiling.

  My dreams skipped track, and I lay in bed with Tanner, his hands running over my body. With one thumb, he caressed my nipple until it stood stiff. I arched my back toward him. He dipped one hand between my legs, lips brushing mine in rhythm with the movement of his hand. I rocked my hips against his fingers. He groaned.

  Wait a second. That groan sounded wrong.

  My eyes flew open. In the half-light Wade leaned over me, naked. He had one hand down the front of the yoga pants I’d worn to bed. The too big T-shirt had been pushed up to my collarbone.

  His dark eyes searched mine. “Is this okay?”

  His fingers teased, featherlight, sliding back and forth in the slickness between my legs. I gasped, too turned on to think about an answer. I couldn’t concentrate on anything but the movement of his hand between my legs and his breath tickling my lips.

  Wade had been my fantasy for a long time. He’d flirted, teased, shunned, and went back to do it all again. His exit from my life had been abrupt, had left things unfinished. Now I had a chance to finish it.

  Tanner and guilt hovered at the corner of my mind. But I remembered that disconnected phone number message. Those seconds of being with him on the plane to California and the wishful dream I’d had of the sunny room and the baby crib might not even be real. For all I knew, Tanner and I were done.

  I let my body take over because old desires always die hard.

  Wade’s hand found the best spot of all, the one that blotted out all rational thought. I undulated my hips against his fingers. He watched, a smile twitching at his lips.

  “Say yes.” His tongue teased the corner of my mouth.

  “Yes.” I spread my legs wide and let my fingers trail over the ridges of stomach muscle to drift over the slick tip of his shaft. I curled my fingers around him and slid my hand over his length.

  He groaned, eyes fluttering almost closed, but he snapped them open and fastened them back on mine.

  “You sure?” His hand kept moving between my legs, as though to ensure my answer.

  I nodded and kept stroking, maybe for the same reason.

  We’d wanted each other so long and so badly, nothing else seemed to matter other than the heat of his skin against mine and his smell in my nose. I wanted this experience, even if it was just one time. Something, some fact, nagged at the back of my brain. But it drifted away before I could latch onto it.

  Wade fastened his lips over mine, tongue fluttering against mine to match the almost-not-there motion of his fingers. He broke the kiss and pulled away from me.

  Had he changed his mind? Some still rational part of me insisted that might be best. Before the thought could take root and blossom, Wade crouched over me and pulled off the yoga pants. The rasp of the material over my skin brought chill bumps. I y
anked off the t- shirt. Wade grabbed my ankles, hoisted them onto his shoulders and pulled me to him.

  “I wanna watch you,” he whispered. He pushed the tip of his cock down to tease my over-sensitized skin.

  I drew in a sharp breath and whimpered, “Please, oh please.”

  Eyes on mine, he lifted my hips. “Anything you want, baby.”

  I let out a little scream and dug my fingernails into his wrists as he pushed his thick length all the way into me. The sensation of being stretched to my limit made every movement, even the tiniest one, intense.

  Wade moved gently at first, my fingers still squeezing his wrists. His eyes devoured mine, roamed over my body, and came back up again. The bed squeaked out the beat of our lovemaking.

  A low rumble filled the room. At first I thought it was thunder, but then realized it was Wade’s moans. The sound of them drove my frenzy. I rolled my hips, pressing down against his hardness. I wanted to feel all of him I could.

  Wade pulled his wrists out of my hands and moved my ankles off his shoulders. He wrapped my legs around his waist and braced his hands on either side of my head, fists clutching handfuls of sheet, dark, fierce eyes locked on mine. His hips bucked against me.

  The bed’s cries grew louder. So did mine. He stiffened, and we both screamed our pleasure.

  Then he was beside me, sweaty body pressed against mine. He kissed my lips, one hand caressing my cheek. I stared into his eyes. They’d softened, and the light of his good humor shone in them.

  “That was amazing. I always knew it would be,” he whispered against my lips.

  He was right. It had been. I murmured my agreement and kissed him. Somewhere in the back of my mind, some detail begged to cut in and ruin the moment, but I was too tired and too sated to give it notice.

  Wade turned me on my side so my naked back pressed against his chest. His arm rested over me, protecting me from the whole world. I sighed, as content as I’d ever been.

  9

  I woke with a sharp inhale. I’d been dreaming I’d died and was at my own funeral as a ghost. Tanner had been there, crying, and I hadn’t been able to let him know I still existed. I shook off the dream and rubbed my face. I patted the bed next to me. Empty.